I don’t know if it’s the recession or something else but everywhere I turn these days people are writing and talking about How To Be Happy…
Is there a secret? Do I know it? Probably not but as someone who’s been around a while and who’s happy here’s what I believe to be the Connected Secrets of Happiness…
1. Make the Hard Choices you know are right. You’ll have some hard times but few or no regrets and no regrets = happiness.
2. Live Your Life for You (the clue is in the word ‘your’)
Never make a decision based on how it will affect your parents or on what they, the neighbours, your friends will say or think. It might not be easy but the reward is eventual and long term happiness. Also refer to point 1 ‘Make the Hard Choices’…
3. Be Born That Way.
Some theories say certain people are born with the pre-disposition for happiness. I thought it might be helpful to include a point none of us can do anything about!
4. Don’t be too Popular at School.
It’s not often based on genuine reasons
5. Don’t Peak too Soon.
6. Don’t be a Bully.
Bullies are never happy.
If you feel the happiest days of your life were at school and you’re in your twenties, thirties, forties… there’s something wrong there. Refer back to points 4 & 5 as they’re often connected.
If you’re someone (like me) who was bullied chances are you’re happier now as you will be more familiar with points 1 & 2, Making Hard Choices you know are right and Living Your Life for You : )
7. Invest in People
Everyone knows this one right? In the end it’s family and friends that matter.
8. Invest in Experiences over Material Goods.
Of course my pink fridge makes me happy and a Wonder Woman Kitchen Aid would too but there’s nothing to compare with the longer term happiness created by experiences from a holiday to a day out and memories of great times spent with people you love.
9. Choose a Partner Wisely. The main thing to avoid is someone who wants to stop you being you, refer to points 5 & 2 Don’t be a Bully & Live your Life for You…
10. Don’t be Jealous. You can’t be jealous and happy.
Did you ever hear that saying…If a group of people were to throw their problems into a ring and you could see them all you’d take your own problems back…
When it comes to other people we can be interested, disinterested, admire, support, learn from, aspire to,wish well or otherwise but their lives are none of our business and nothing to be jealous of.
11. Open Your Eyes. Don’t be the kind of person who needs a wake up call to appreciate the little things that make up your life, see, savour, appreciate.
12. Remember We Don’t Have Time. If you heard you were going to die tonight would you be happy with how you’d spent your last day/week/year/life in general? If the answer is no refer to my next/last point, number 13…
13. Change. It’s never to late to make changes and there’s nothing more liberating. Refer back to points 1 & 2, Make the Hard Choices & Live your Life for You. You’ll have no regrets and be happy if you do…
What do you think? Agree or disagree? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Have a great week : )
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I love “Happiness is a form of courage” and “The trouble is you think you have time”. Awesome. My own quote? Happiness is a gift you give yourself.
Spent many years in a very bad place. I like the tone of empowerment you wrote this with Jane.
Love,
Shalagh
It’s funny how little interest people have in happiness! We had an inservice in school (bosses must have thought a lot of us needed it) on it. I thought it funny when psychologist said he was regularly booked by a group to give talks on anxiety, depression etc but when he said he’d give one on happiness he was told by the organiser sure who’d be interested in that & it was his lowest turnout by far. I also thought it was interesting when he described different factors that can lead to a happier life I could apply nearly everyone to my husband obviously the happiest fellow about. Two things he did bang on a lot about was living in the present (something I’m not great at) and allowing yourself to become fully immersed in things ( also not good at). I’m a big supporter of minding your mental health but think the false messages that are out there on people being happy all the time are very damaging!
Sheena,
I agree with you about distorted messages from societal standards. Comparison can do us in. And I’m happy you have a happy husband! Me too.
Love,
Shalagh
I agree Sheena, I think if anything my ideas show I don’t think happiness comes easy, there’s a price for everything and if there’s a formula it’s a hard one. It does take a courage perhaps and a bit of ‘the road less travelled’ behind or perhaps ahead! I’m not good at those things you describe either I think I’m just true to myself but then that hasn’t been a choice, more of a personality thing so I can’t really take credit for it I just know it’s worked in the long run (that added to the ‘being born with it’ thing and being able to really value and savour things. You’re only problem is your cooler than me (like that’s a problem!) I can imagine you laughing in the face of happiness : ))