The ‘Good Conversation’ Recipe

The ‘Good Conversation’ Recipe

Afternoon all, Monday again in the fastest year of my life. That’s how it feels. Is it because I’m the oldest I’ve ever been? I don’t know!!!

So anyway I’m here, thinking away, and I know I haven’t told you I’m in love with this guy Jason Silva, do you know him?

From his website…’Jason Silva is a media artist, futurist, philosopher, keynote speaker and TV personality. He is the creator of ‘Shots of Awe’, a short film series of ‘trailers for the mind’ that serve as philosophical espresso shots exploring innovation, technology, creativity, futurism and the metaphysics of the imagination.

Shots of Awe has received more than 13 million views. He is also Emmy nominated host of National Geographic Channel’s hit TV series Brain Games, airing in over 100 countries.’

I watch these shots of awe and my brain starts rapid firing. I come away a little more enriched than I was 3 minutes before. These are the kinds of conversations I want to have, always.

I regularly share his work on facebook and a few weeks back Jason himself ‘liked’ one of his posts I’d shared. I was so excited I rang Adrian at work straight away;

Me: Guess who just liked his post on my page???

Adrian: Who?

Me: Jason Silva!!!

Adrian: No!!!

Me: Yes!!!

Adrian: Awesome 🙂

Because who could appreciate my excitement more than the one I insist on showing shots of awe to, usually when he’s trying to sleep.

All I could think then was, wow, I would love to have a conversation with this guy…well that and how it was a shame he hadn’t liked one of my posts instead of his own!

But seriously!!! GOOD conversation can be sooo hard to find and it shouldn’t be should it? Is this a bad sign of our world? Of where we’re at? A sympton of slavish mentality?

And what makes a good conversation? What are the barriers? The spoilers? What is the recipe for good, NO for great conversation?

Lets focus on that…

Painting by Edouard Vuillard

My Good Conversation Recipe

To me conversation is great when it is ideas, solutions and imagination oriented, focused on what could be done instead of on what can’t. Add a free mind, creative, open, honest, interested in the world, compassionate, divergent, free, irreverent,  quirky. A mind that is not defensive, self-serving or competitive, that is without negativity, aggression, jealousy or cynicism, and that’s what I’d call a recipe.

“Cynicism is intellectual dandyism. ” – George Meredit, ‘The Egoist.’

Painting by Edouard Vuillard

Again it goes back, and ever back to evolution, to how we change and make the world, to how we contribute on an individual and then on a group level. When we’re over cynical or negative we are not thinking, we are sheep right?

The power of thoughts, of ideas and words is a power we didn’t know we had but are daily learning, that of the individual.

Whether you have a blog or other platform or not, you still talk to family, to friends, and that matters, it counts, it affects the world.

Not convinced? In simplest terms think of how you feel when someone is kind or cruel, when you’re down perhaps, how that affects you, and for how long. Think of the energy you get from people at Christmas time, or when the weather is good. It’s contagious, palpable…

“If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.”― Nikola Tesla

We need to mind our thoughts, to mind our words, for we are powerful. The only question now is…


And remember…’only bad witches are ugly’…:) Thoughts? I would truly love to hear them. In the meantime I wish you good conversation xo Jane 

I’ll leave you with few links…

Most Popular Shot of Awe‘The Existential Bummer’ HERE

Jason Silva on Facebook HERE

And my favourite Shot of Awe ‘Captains of Spaceship Earth’ HERE

Not forgetting my own Facebook HERE

Movie I love, The Last Samurai, peaceful, mindful, wise and beautiful <3

7 thoughts on “The ‘Good Conversation’ Recipe”

  • ah good conversation is sometimes difficult to can be surrounded by people and be consumed by a cacophony of noiise, you know the type….gossip, back biting generally negative…….you come away feeling like you have done a hard days work when all you have done is try to remain outside the negativity……
    Good conversation is indeed a rarity and when found should be nurtured, cared for and cheriished!

    • Oh yes, I hear you Karen, that ‘hard days work’ feeling is dreadful, soul destroying, and the effort to protect yourself, to ‘remain outside’ as you say takes a toll too. Another good case for being true to and finding ones tribe 🙂

  • For me the best conversations are with the people with whom I feel most comfortable, when it’s okay to say anything or nothing, and you never wonder afterwards “should I have said that?”. Great post x

    • Well said, I agree, no wondering afterwards just freedom to be yourself and say what you please, thank you Candi 🙂

  • Wow! Excellent article Jane. This one really hit a nerve. One of my biggest phobias is getting trapped in boring conversations and unfortunately, this tends to happen more often than not . Conversation gems are the ones you come away from feeling uplifted and energised and I was beginning to think that being bothered by mundane conversation was my problem alone as everyone just seems to “put up with it “. Your article has made me realise I’m not alone in my plight for great conversation and I definitely agree that openess and positivity are key ingredients (a great reminder to myself also in case I’m being the borer)! ?

    • Thanks Lisa, that’s great to hear 🙂 You are far from alone in this more ahead of the game, though I know it can feel horribly lonely. As Anais Nin said “I am lonely, yet not everybody will do. I don’t know why, some people fill the gaps and others emphasize my loneliness.” There is nowhere as lonely as ‘wrong’ company. Thanks for commenting and don’t give up or give in. The world needs ‘real’ conversations and they’re out there, I promise you!!! xox

  • Ok, just watched the‘Captains of Spaceship Earth’ – omg!!

    Love the line about empathy only extending as far as we can see and in my opinion so many people appear to only see as far as their own very small world of interests lies which explains so much…

    Phew! Did I just have too much coffee? No. I had the normal amount of coffee – are you sure? yes, I’m sure! Phew!

    Right, a few calming breaths later and I’m back… I think. Also I think that I may need to watch that one again.

    Now, onto conversations – I love your recipe and as with all good recipes everyone can tweak it a little for their own spice, their own taste buds.

    Perhaps I’m fortunate, I don’t listen to mundane conversations very often, however that could be because we live on a hill (choice) and I don’t commute, I don’t sit in a place of work listening to others talk all day (again, choice as much as circumstance). When we visit the city of Galway we often sit outside what we call our “office” sipping coffee (the best we can find in the city) and listening to the world around us, the people sitting next to us, the snippets of conversation from those passing close by in the street. Sometimes the conversations are wonderful, the little bits I hear are so enticing, I want to know more and at times I get to hear more.

    I think the anonymity of sitting outside a coffee shop in a bustling city can allow people to have better conversations, much like an airport or busy train station where strangers can share intimate details of their lives.

    I think that fear is often the reason that conversations are boring – fear to let the other person know what you are really thinking of right now – they’ll think I’m silly/ ridiculous/shameful – insert your own word here, you know which one fits – we all know know which one fits (has fitted, might fit) for us.

    Fear that they won’t like us anymore, they’ll tell other people to not like us. Or perhaps it’s a more basic fear – if I say it out loud it will become real… and I’ll become naked in front of the world.

    And of course there’s the old reliable – if I don’t talk about it, it will go away or it will never have existed in the first place.

    And last but certainly not least – “say nothing”! The old one passed on from generation to generation, from the countryside to those who moved to live in the towns, continuing on, like a bad rash, popping up now and then.

    I think it’s time for a few more calming breathes…

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